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Donut Steel by babbletrish Donut Steel by babbletrish
My most totes original gryphon and most ORIGINAL CHARACTER EVUH is half Sparkledog and half Sparkleraptor (see here: [link] )!

Raggiana the Sparklegriff is from another world on another planet in another dimension in the future a million years ago. She has a tattoo from the mean scientists who experimented with her on their secret base on the moon but she escaped! She's got scars all over cause she's a cutter and also a fighter who can win against everybody but herself!

She's a Tsundere and a Deadpan Snarker and a Warrior Poet and a Friend To All Living Things and and a Big Lipped Alligator Moment and a Useful Notes on Breast Sizes. She's faster than Sonic and is Sasuke's best friend's sister's boyfriend's cousin's ex-wife and also a Jedi and a Sith and a Damothar Witch.

She can shapeshift into a dragon and a wolf and a lion! She also has an Anthro form and a more humanoid form because of COURSE she does! Her wings can become invisible because sometimes she chooses to appear wingless, not because wings are hard to draw you #*$s! God! She was BFFs with Prince Elfangor and Zordon who both gave her their respective kinds of Morphing! She's Acquired 912 different animals including doubles of some species and her giant robot is a Mecha-Sparklegriff!

I will draw a buzzillion pictures of her in all her different forms later, I promise you guys!

She has an iPod that's just like my iPod! *JUST* LIKE my iPod, cause her personality is so much like me! Her theme song is "Welcome to Paradise' by Green Day and SHE WAS A FAN FROM BACK IN THE "DOOKIE" ALBUM DAYS YOU LITTLE S**T POSEURS YOU ALL SUCK! All the jewelry she wears enhances her powers except for her tail-ring which has all the powers of the Green Lanterns and the Infinity Gauntlet. Oh, and she has a super-awesome magic sword that was given to her by the Vampire Lestat.

Oh sh__, I forgot to draw it but her other eye is Fire Blood Red! This is because she is half Angel and Half Demon and has a tortured soul of both Light and Dark and they cannot coexist you guys! So it causes her tension and suffering and that is one reason why she is sad all the time because of how much she has suffered due to being both Dark and Light and also the experiments and the cutting and the stuff. I also forgot to draw her cybernetic right ear, which was installed after she lost her original ear and could never heal it ever due to reasons. It can hear as good as fifty wolves and a bat and just cause I didn't draw this stuff doesn't mean it isn't wikkid important you guys!

Because she is both Dark and Light, her blood is black-and-white striped. It starts glowing and turns rainbow when she's stressed. This is because she is not only part Angel and Demon but also part wolf and part dragon and part human and part lion and dolphin and part Blue Jay and part unicorn and part polar bear and part Slender Loris and part Baird's Tapir and part your mom and part Everything Else. She also has twice the normal number of blood vessels and an unstable molecular structure that allows her to shrink and pass through matter and perform Alchemy freely without a Transmute Symbol. And her hair can turn into snakes.

She hates games made by LJN.

She can without effort manipulate the elements of Water, Electricity, Light, Dark, Hammerspace, Hammertime, Earth, Uranus, Dragon, Bug, Lint, Drugs, and Cheese. She can create small amounts of an unknown techno-organic nanometal and form swords and shields and armor and stuff. The blades on her arms are made of this unknown magical diamond-hard element. Because of this, she is given a form of immortality as the element is nearly completely indestructible and is sharper than both Adamantium and Mythril combined. The blades each also house extra brains because f**k you, they just do.

She is both gay, straight, asexual, demisexual, ambisexual, gray, puce, and omnisexual. She is both female, male, neuter, and angiosperm. Also, she is manic-depressive and paranoid schizophrenic and has the OCD and the TRAUMA! You guys! Trauma everywhere! SO much Trauma! And she has PHYSICAL pain like those scars I already talked about and a head injury and gallstones and PMS and a hangnail and Prostatitis. She can fire lightning from her eyes and acid from her mouth and glitter from her nipples. She should probably consider seeing a doctor and a psychologist about all of this.

She has a Daemon (also a Sparklegriff who also can turn into a winged wolf big enough to ride on and he will never Settle ever) and a Patronus (ALSO also a Sparklegriff) and a Spirit Guide Totem Power Animal (Ke$ha). She is bioluminescent like in "Avatar" and did I mention her Na'vi form already cause that's kinda important cuz she's the current Turak Macto.

There are so many awesome things about her that I might hop back in here and change stuff and everybody better update their Raggiana fanfics if I do! She is MY own totally original character and if you use her without asking me I will kill you dead. With my mind. Through the Internet.

-----

OK, seriously. Digital art and approximately 5+ hours I will never get back. Oh, God, forgive me...

First off, no offense to Windsonde or any of it's members. They are quite awesome: [link]

No, I am not going to really draw a "buzzillion" pictures of Rag's different forms (unless I am really bored/in a weird-ass mood someday). Incidentally, "Paradise" is the song that randomly popped up when I set my pod on shuffle while writing all this madness.

Raggiana's back-story has indeed been added to over time. And if I do say so myself it just gets more and more awesome/ridiculous, though it will never be as insane as those of the Original Characters Do Not Steals I am parodying. I *might* have shamelessly directly stolen the "Daemon gryphon/wolf who will never Settle because I completely missed the whole point of Daemons" and the "sword given by Lestat because WTF?" and the "her hair turns into snakes because of reasons" and the out-of-nowhere disdain of LJN and some other things from some such characters I have encountered.

Sorry if any or all of this makes you mad; don't be hatin'.
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:iconindigowolfswhisper:
indigowolfswhisper Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You are a genius. Thank you for clearing the air for all of the Mary-Sue's out there.
Reply
:icongodheadinspector:
GodheadInspector Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012
*HAVE YOU

I need an editor. l:I
Reply
:icongodheadinspector:
GodheadInspector Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012
OH LORD, MY EYYYYYYEEEEEEES!!

WHAT UNHOLY SPAWN HAVE UNLEASHED UPON THE EARTH!?
Reply
:iconelectronic-hot:
electronic-hot Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2012
not enough garish colours. my suspension of disbelief is ruined
Reply
:iconcommanderxillian:
CommanderXillian Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2012
You forgot the large "DONUT STEEL", but otherwise, Pig Disgusting.

Good job.
Reply
:icontomozaurus:
Tomozaurus Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2012  Student General Artist
Thank you for making my day. I can not describe how hard I was laughing while reading this.
Reply
:icondarkelementex:
DarkElementEX Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2012
I thought so.

Huh, it looks like there are more tropers on DA than I realize. I've seen some MSTers use a trope or two but nothing more than that. But then again, I don't browse this place for crap very often.
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:icondarkelementex:
DarkElementEX Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2012
A "Cowboy Bebop at His Computer?" That might mean she isn't what the writer claims her to be! I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not.

Though seriously, this was hilarious and I loved how the picture made me want to gag. Very accurate.
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:iconbabbletrish:
babbletrish Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2012  Professional Traditional Artist
I thank you.

(As far as the "CB@HC" thing, it's just a gag based off ho so Goddamn many of these things use Tropes as shorthand to define their characters. Thanks for pointing out how confusing that might be.)
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:iconindigomagpie:
indigomagpie Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2011
My favourite bit is the claim that she's an angiosperm.
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